OOC:

It's been a hell of a lot of fun, but this character's story is over.

Thanks to everybody who made playing on CBTB so much fun.

Andre is also gone, as I will no longer be playing at this MuX.

Thanks again and good luck to everybody.

The Pack is fairly buzzing with the insult the Fox queen decided to deliver. Personally, I look forward to a war. Battle will weed out our weak and stupid members, leaving the pack stronger, leaner and more vicious for the next struggle.

And it will serve as a reminder to the rest of the monsters in this town why humans piss themselves when they hear 'werewolf' and not 'werefox, dog or goose'. And nothing sends a 'don't fuck with us' message quite like a little local genocide of the species that does it first.

This is an ooc post to discuss something that a lot of the Rankers have been kicking around.

Proposed statement of OOC Pack policy:

Attention Beta and Neowolves - If you have a problem playing a submissive character, a character who is not in charge and who can suffer for their offenses at the drop of a hat, please relinquish your Lukoi alt and free up the space for somebody who -can- play the role they picked.

This would be followed up by private ooc chats or @mails by the rankers to people who are in danger of running afoul of it.

Thoughts, comments, suggestions, rants, flames and general questioning of my morals and parentage may commence now.

We have an Ulfric.

Not a doctor. Not a man. Not a lover. Not a friend. We have an Ulfric. Born in blood and pain and strength. It's about time. I was certain he could win. I just wasn't entirely certain that he wanted to win. That he'd put the pack and his life above those he wanted to help or loved personally. As it turns out I shouldn't have worried.

We also lost three alphas and four betas. Which is bad from a tactical viewpoint, if we were a pack with perfect harmony. But we were not. Now, perhaps we are. David was a good man. Just too mad and too confused to be a good wolf. Brigid was a very good woman and a very good wolf. I'd hope that I'd die with half as much composure. Daine and Kira ... died as they lived. Consistent. If not loyal.

It's a new dawn for the pack, after a night that was several months long.

David has named himself Fenrir.

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Apologied to both Lupa and Ulfric. Zane let me know in no uncertain terms that the next time I crossed him in public that I might not survive the experience. Which is three more chances than most Ulfrics would give me. The more I'm around Zane the more he becomes a person, rather than personification of 'Ulfric'. Still trying to decide if that is a good thing.

I've been a part of a couple of interesting chats involving the them, this week. Being a new alpha and with Scott, I'm spending a lot more time around Zane and Maricela than I would otherwise. It's still a bit nerve wracking when the conversations turn towards things tense, but I'm pretty sure I'm covering that well.

Speaking of which, I screwed up minorly in front of the Lupa last night and Scott had to correct me. Embarrassing. Mari seemed a little surprised that he'd do so. No matter what happens in private, he's still Freki and I'm still a minor alpha. Some lines you can't blur in front of other people. In any case, given that everything I do or say reflects not just on me but on Scott as my mate, I need to be better than that.

Ah well, live and learn.

The Lupanar was ... well, dramatic.

Zane announced that Kazimir would be given a chance to 'prove himself'. Which is a null statement, really. If the Ulfric is extending his time here, he's more than half way made up his mind to bring the man into the pack. The rest is just manuevering to keep his rankers happy. He opened the floor to discussion.

I mouthed off. Others replied. It was disheartening to find out just what inroads Kaz has made into the pack. There was some serious bickering and growling. At our most sacred of rituals and the time when these things can get people killed accidently with ease as we have limited control and short tempers by nature under the full moon. The Ulfric shut it down, finally. But it was fairly obvious that I was the one at fault.

I owe both Zane and the Lupa an apology.

And I need to start packing.

I spent the last few days in the woods as a wolf. Scott knew where I was, but other than that, I didn't feel like letting anybody know. It was refreshing in ways. And in others, it highlighted how different things are for me now.

Taking on four legs and finding the deepest wilderness for days at a time used to be my salvation. This time I enjoyed it, but I found myself wishing Scott were there. And missing my pack.

I wanted to come home. And realized that the Lobos Creek pack is my home now and I think of them that way. Frightening. Vulnerability is a weakness that can be exploited. But on the other hand, it feels good. I haven't had a family since I was infected. And if this one is a bit dysfunctional, well, so am I, these days.

Interesting few days.

( Long, rambling stuff follows )

Warning: Long post with frank language

( Rancor with the Rankers )

...It occurs to me exactly how far I've come in just a short time.

There is a difference between doing things for reasons of personal ambition and service and clawing your way up to what you perceive as a 'safe' place to keep from slipping back.

This may be the time to consolidate my position, figure out who and what I am these days and where I want to go from there.

Or the touchy-feelie California pack mentality may be rubbing off on me. I better go hunting before I start wanting to talk about my feelings and 'share'. Ack.

Trying and failing might be better than not trying at all, they say. And as usual 'They' lie.

Our way of doing things has some limitations, but it also has thousands of years of history and tradition behind it. So I'll hope for the best and pray that her incompetence is only fatal to her and take my chance when Kira falls. Or just when I've grown stronger.

Or she could prove me wrong and actually make a better Skoll than she did Bolverk. In a world where the dead rise and werewolves exist, anything is possible.

Not likely. But possible.

Well, Scott and I finally set down with Zane and I got to hear a little of what has been floating around the pack. I was surprised and honestly a bit scared to find out what exactly people had been telling him.

( The whole bloody mess )

I caught up with Daine last night. Apparently, she isn't the only one who doesn't trust me. To quote:

"When my Ulfric expresses to me, the woman who may become his Lupa, the events that have taken place, in his perspective, I have to listen."

And more in that vein. So it is Zane who has decided I'm dangerous, apparently. And rather than just talk with me, tell me what he wants done, which I would be obligated to obey, he tells the Eranthe to beware of me.

Add to this Daine's spirited defense of Kazimir and I think it truly is time to be going. I'm going to have to speak with Scott, of course, but I think it's fairly certain that we'll be leaving now, unless things work out much differently than they look like they are going. I can't see Zane having a problem with our leaving.

Well, I've never been to the East Coast. And Scott says there is real wilderness just an hour or two away from New York.

I guess we'll see.

[OOC note: This particular blog is not actually linked to a friends list ICly. Discovering it is a matter of accessing the mansion browsers after Waylon has used them (he's not all that net-savvy to hide his tracks, despite what he thinks) or finding it by random searches for the appropriate terms. Or come to think of it, being the admin of the Apartment wireless network, assuming it has one.]


Well, not so much in the way of a boring week, I'm afraid.

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...real bear.

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I'm hoping for something more sedate this week.

...are not synonymous with stress and relaxation.

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OOC Note: This is a log of that RP. Long. And violent.

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